ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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