I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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