There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
