I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
