so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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