What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
