I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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