It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
