margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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