dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
