I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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