Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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