My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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