no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
