and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
