like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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