Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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