i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize