anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I got her a Nickelback box set.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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