I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
