I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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