i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
