i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
