i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
