I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
