I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
birth control should be required to get into college
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
