She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
