so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
