I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
