I heard we made out
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
