i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She's the barista slut.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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