some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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