Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
