chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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