I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There r osticjed everywhere
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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