its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
