Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
