I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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