there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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