I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
