you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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