It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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