What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just found a bag of teeth...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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