we're blogging at a bar
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
