I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
