You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
