If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
