Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
