I want you more than these girls want KFC
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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