I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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