Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
