I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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